When Do You Get Out Of Yourself?

When do you get out of yourself and start helping others?

Me with Nana, 1953

I texted this question to my spiritual director - the woman who introduced me to so many forms of healing on Kauai last year.

We had lunch earlier this week.  I'd been asked by the Hawaiian Kahuna ( 'Kahuna' as wise woman of Hawaiian spiritual authority, not as in 'Big Kahuna') to give a testimony, to the woman I now sat across from, about the Spiritual Retreat 'Deep Within' she ran one year ago. 

I did not go easy.

"It cracked me open. (We'd had a woman's tribal ceremony, Hawaiian style.)  It was a shattering experience. I flashed back to my mother touching me and all the body abuse flooded in.  I freaked, flooded with shame so real it made my skin crawl.  I went into a tailspin for two months, barely making it through the holidays, my shame was so vivid. It forced me to go into therapy for PTSD.  I am not going back for your next retreat."

She apologized she didn't recognize my reaction at the time.

"It's not surprising.  When I'm stressed I lock down and look calm, cool and collected on the outside. No one has a clue."

"Well," we agreed, "the retreat served its purpose - it went Deep Within".

I suppose I could look at it as my rite of initiation - my demons showed up and I faced them.  I'll still pass on her upcoming retreat:

The Big Island Fire Goddess Pele Retreat

Can you recall crises revealing new wonders in your life?  I'd love to learn if your crises have had their upside.   Because of last year's crisis I have come to finally love little baby me.  I see her and go "Awwww.  She's a little wonder."

Glorious Wonder today. 

Getting back to my question:
When do you get out of yourself and start helping others?

I texted my answer along with that question.  "When you go deep within and link to the lifeline we're all connected to, which opens our eyes to our own value.  And when we link, we agree to our own value and speak from it.  This LOVE lifeline draws us into situations and toward people struggling along the same lines we have.  I believe you would say we're all struggling along the same lines?"

"Yes...this is perfect"  she replied.  "We are all learning who we are.  How we are all connected and what our gifts are so that we can help others as well.  We call those to us with the same or similar vibration."

Well.  hmmm.  This vibration thing.  Maybe I should consider dating again...