Thursday, February 23, 2017

There is a Last Time

There's gonna be a last time.

Ready or not, there will be a last snowfall.

Remember last post, when I wrote I felt a name change coming on?  Shortly after I admitted that, I admitted something bigger. 

Post Widowhood needs to scoop you all up and wish you well.  I'm saying Bye-Bye.

I've outgrown it.  I don't feel 'post' widowhood, 'post' recovery, 'post' relevant.  Yeah, it's all 'post'.  Yet it's all 'beginnings'.  History has given me wings. 

The eyes I have found here have felt more real and loving than physical eyes I once searched as I asked "Are you with me?"  With your company, my own eyes felt the answer.  You have been a new mirror for me, replacing that rusty, dusty, fusty, musty version in my head.  Your words have had enormous impact.  I don't know if this was exactly what you intended, but in real life now, I'm genuinely warm toward people I feel warmly toward, and genuinely off-putting to people I want to be off-putting to.  The congruence is absolutely relaxing.  I laugh often.  And offload my opinions in other places.

But I'm all talked out here! 

I was worried that the digital sphere would swallow evidence I existed when this blog falls silent.  So before posting this final message I assembled physical evidence, and a PDF file.  Hah!  Yesterday two full color volumes from Blog2print arrived.   Five plus years.  262 posts, pictures and comments.  Volume One, 2012, 2013 and 2014 - 206 pages of gorgeous evidence that I existed.  Volume Two, 2015, 2016 through January 24, 2017 - 340 pages of proof that I really had a lot to get off my chest.

I promise - my words will continue to pop up your blogs. 
Love you all!