The Gifts of the Circle of Friends

Hi guys.  Feeling Velveteen Rabbitey here.   The Gift Circle I described last post - where friends reveal what they treasure about each other - is really rubbing the fur off my belly. Oooh!

Here's what my closest friend wrote.  Her answer deserves a whole post. 

"When we first met, you struck me as quiet, easily overlooked, needing [your husband] to support you and perhaps be your compass. You were an artist and maybe a bit “arty” – almost a definition rather than a person.  Over the years I got to know more about you and to like you more and more.  But again, I would describe you by what you did, not who you were.  You were strong and adventuresome – cycling in Europe, taking mosaic classes in Mexico (Mexico?!), spending time in France, camping alone in ME., travelling to the Easter Islands, scattering ashes in Hawaii. And trying to find a soul mate, only to be disappointed time and again.  You were a seeker, but I didn’t know what it was that you sought.

Now I know – you were seeking Flo and you are finding her.  I have been blessed to accompany you on part of this journey and I have seen a scared little rabbit ( 12 years ago) turn into a  beautiful, compassionate, caring friend. The rabbit is coming out of her hole, trusting people more, opening her eyes and looking deeply into mine, daring to be present to others, instead of needing to protect herself at all costs.  You’ve become a person, not a definition – unfinished, as we all are – but someone who is able to feel real feelings and not hide from them, who is coming to love and accept the real Flo and slowly to trust her own truth, even if its scary or different.  You are grounded, Flo, rooted like the plants in your garden. 

 ...I see your core qualities as strength, courage (alone in Maine with the bears!), trustworthiness (I know you’d never betray a secret); faithfulness (nor betray me), a true sense of spirituality and transcendence, which informs your life. And an enormous amount of love, which you’re just discovering and starting to trust.  I think the best way to describe you now is to say that you’re real.  When we talk, we truly “share” and that happens rarely in our world.  That’s why I’m so grateful for your friendship. (Is that a core quality?  If not it should be.  True friendship is a real gift because it implies acceptance.)  Another core gift of yours – you are non-judgmental. There is so much love in you and I’ve seen you begin to open yourself to that, to allow yourself to  feel compassion, trusting you won’t be hurt. When you smile, I feel the love as I never did before and it’s life giving.  Thank you for being my friend. "

Isn't this amazing?  I am easier to read than I thought! 

And being braver and realer....Just this week, I fessed up to a man who wants to be my friend, that with me, comes the elephant in my room - she's snorty, messy, and impolitic.  She comes out with me.  He laughed.  How real you are!  Of course I want to be your friend.

I'd like to bring out Ms. Snorty, Messy, Impolitic.  Do you want to meet her?  You wanna love the fur off of her, too?

Have a lovely weekend, everyone.   The fall colors are striking here in New England.  Tomorrow I'm heading to western Massachusetts to visit my father and my brother, who just had major surgery.  Can't wait to give them hugs!