Positive: I don't need to be around for someone who is here all the time. Freedom!
Negative: I don't need to be around for someone who is here all the time. Loneliness.
I'm tired of trying to frame post widowhood in an optimistic manner. I'm aware we widows and widowers are expected to make the best of a difficult situation, 'get over it', "get on with it', 'grow out of it'. We're congratulated when we pick up the pieces and start over. We create the stories of triumph over adversity. If it makes others feel better, yes, tidy endings do happen. Love does reenter the picture. Happily ever after is yours for the taking. Hey, if you're lucky, your loss can be new material for a sitcom!
Now, the real picture in this blog writer's life. Seven years trying to make the best of things, not succeeding too well at the moment. Seven years living in survival mode wedging bigger and bigger pockets of thriving in. Focusing on making something that's my own, even if it's not the best. Even if it's not making any sense.
News alert: I have not made sense of the tragedy I encountered, yet it's the most common tragedy of all. After all, everybody dies. I feel stupid and clueless.
Winston Churchill said something I identify with.
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm."
God love him.
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