Monday, February 16, 2015

Shades of Vulnerability

A balmy -3 here.   So very grateful for my warm house and oil delivery just now.  As I watch squirrels nibble their nuts and birds flock to my feeders, I marvel that God designed we humans naked, totally vulnerable to such cold. 

It's not my body that's shivering; it's the interior of my heart that is.  It's like a grenade went off inside after reading another blogger's post about the movie and book '50 Shades of Gray'.  Oh, No!  Bondage appears to be going mainstream.  Of course this sane person is a little concerned.   So far I've stayed far far away from the book and only read one review of the movie.  I took heart that people laughed at the movie's end, when the lights were turned on.  You think people might be embarrassed about being seen watching this movie?  I do hope so!  God forbid there be gaggles of giggling girls running off to the nearest *** shop to buy those cute little pink fur-lined hand cuffs.  Memo to them: Life offers lots of ways to degrade our humanity without being handcuffed to a bed post.

My heart is scared and angry some idiot - a woman! - moved the goal post to smutland and the mainstream worldwide is following.  Okay, okay, smutland's been around for centuries - ever since men's little guy got bored.   Nowadays, boredom may be part of it, but it's not only boredom that's moving the goalpost nowadays.  It seems to be our increasing difficulty with emotional vulnerability.  Naked *** has always offered circumstances too tender, too vulnerable for some hearts to tolerate, whether love or recreation is involved.  So it's little surprise that the recreational *** movement, inside and out of marriage, is pushing the envelope to produce fireworks.  Is it safer?? Easier?? for physical vulnerability to titillate than emotional vulnerability?

When did our impulse to connect get so scary that we choose to divert it toward dehumanizing  intimate connections?  And what role has our increasing texting and online life had?  I wonder if acclimating ourselves to self revelation online feeds our fear of face to face connection.  I see online sharing as a necessary bridge, but it is mighty tempting to make it our only venue for sharing emotionally vulnerable stuff.  And then using face to face contact for the kinks, to divert us from taking each other to heart, then weeding out what hurts.  Give me Heart!

  Good Morning! 
 Wishing you a heartwarming day 


  1. Since I'm the blogger friend who wrote about this topic, you know how I feel. Since writing that post I've been online reading comments on the movie review sites. Thankfully there are a lot of people who are also appalled at the mainstreaming of S&M and bondage and marketing it as if it should be an acceptable part of a couple's love making. To me, it's setting the Woman's Movement back, to teach young women it's okay to give a guy the right to whip or spank you into submission, to tie you up, etc. Some people on the review sites said it wasn't abuse because Mr. Grey always asked for permission to escalate to the next step and to that I say, "Oh, give me a break!" If a woman's self-esteem is so low that she feels she needs to be punished or that she deserves it, then the last thing she needs is to have that feeling "validated" by a man who is clearing taking advantage of her. Unfortunately, they are going to be making two more sequels because the box office sales blew off the roof. I keep thinking about those three girls in Cleveland that were held captive. How can we teach young men it's okay to use bondage in one situation but not in others? They get it in writing on a check off sheet? Ya, sure, "Sign it bitch or I'll beat you some more."

    1. Well said. Unwitting consent to abuse is sad enough. To deliberately mix S&M pleasure with pain is as helpful as binge drinking.

  2. I just remember all the yelling and demonstrations in the street, back in the 60's and 70's when Gloria and Bella were telling us to be equal. "Get out of your house and get a job...a career. Get away from male domination." And now, these same young women and/or daughter's that fought so hard for equality or going to see this awful movie that shows women being dominated and degraded? If they only realized that sex is so much better when it comes from a deep emotional level of trust and respect!

  3. I count on most people being put off by sexual inequality between men and women. It doesn't matter which gender is doing the domination. I want to put my head in the sand until this all blows over. And I will!