Today I began another 30 day Intensive Online Course about loving relationships. If you don't mind, may I share a little of it with you? Perhaps you may find its coursework interesting. If not, I'll pick up on that : -). You'll see pretty pictures for a month.
Day One of the course, is about needing each other versus being needy. I quote:
Humans, like many other animals, need each other. We are social beings and we are not meant to be alone. We need each other for many things, such as:
We thrive when we feel connected and supported by each other, and we suffer when connection and support are not available. We have these needs as babies and we never lose them.
When we abandon ourselves by not taking responsibility for our own feelings of self-worth and well-being, we become needy. We are needy when:
The question for all students " Why do you want to be in relationship?"
"I want to be in a relationship, because I want to feel that circle of love, where each person responds to the other with compassion in all sorts of ways, from helping out, to playing, to being attuned emotionally, laughing, comforting, speaking our truths. After reading today's topic, I recognize myself as being needy and insecure nowadays, like I don't fit in. I'm a widow, and I feel like the flapping loose end of a cord that once circled round. I've had a deeply satisfying marriage and I am not interested in another partner, but I do want to replicate this comfortable intimacy with women friends. Yet I find making friends with women so very challenging. I have made authentic connection online in forums, and in blogs. Yet in 'real life' I've met either women with little need or time for establishing new friendship, or else very needy women who cling to me. I am neither someone's fallback, nor last resort, nor rescuer, nor wingman in a mating quest. The question "Why be in a relationship?" is a good one. My answer: for comfortable and joyful intimacy. But, and this is a big BUT, it appears I have mommy issues (eye roll)"