Friday, February 13, 2015

Meandering We Will Go

Another thinking out loud day. About this blog's Title " Life diverted ~ Flowing STRONG, Somewhere in Here".  Yesterday Jean noted I appear to be a meandering stream, not a strong current.  At first I felt this flush of shame, as if someone had stripped me of my clothes.  And then I thought back to my last conversation with my Friendship Counselor about my little dinner party last week, below.  Remember, I hired her because I have difficulty making female friends, and, hey, we're making progress.

Me: " My neighbor and I talked and laughed."

FC: " What did you talk about? "

Me: " Uh....This and that. " (We painfully extract the conversational files from my zip drive memory and I tell her our conversations )

FC: " You laughed a lot!  You had fun? Like, how much fun? "

Me: "  25% fun. "

FC: " Only 25%? "

Me: " Yes.  Hey.  That's really good!  When I started seeing you ( 10 months ago now ) I had close to 0% fun with women.  I did the listener, counselor, cheerleader thing with them. "

FC: " O.K.  Then this is great!!"

Me: " You know, a couple days ago, up in Massachusetts, someone said something, something I hadn't heard in ten years... and my heart rejoiced to hear it! "

FC: " And that was..? "

Me: " I was out to breakfast with a bunch of people, all talking over one another.  Someone was recounting how much he loved living in New York City.

         Me: " I HATED living in NYC.  ".
         Another woman: " Oh, really? I thought you loved it. "
         Me:  " No!   It was necessary for my career, but I hated not seeing the trees and the sky, being surrounded by skyscrapers.  Every morning I would take a walk from Soho to the Empire State building for breakfast, just to get out of the apartment and see the sky!!!   My soul NEEDS the sky, the trees, the open spaces...."
        A man's voice piped up from across the table: " My soul does, too! "

Back to my conversation with my Friendship Coach ~
Me: " It was the first time I'd heard my heart's desire echoed in ten years. I feel like I've been in a desert, parched, and this was my first sip of water!!! "

FC: " Would your soul have leapt for joy if a woman had said this? "

Me: " It might have felt just as wonderful coming from a woman.  The point is - here was a kindred spirit! "

... and I went on to passionately talk about my love of nature, of all the little noises and sights that thrill me, like the chirping of spring peepers, signaling spring.  I recounted the time my husband and I went out and recorded their evening sound.  " Now THAT,
 " I finished up with " was 100% fun!!! "

Then my friendship Counselor and I returned to the subject of my guest last week.

" This woman wouldn't like nature this way? "

" No.  She talked of helping teenagers ( her profession and passion ), and movies.  She recommended one,  I replied I hadn't been to a movie since 'The Fault in Our Stars'.  I could take or leave movies.  I'd rather have a direct experience listening to spring peepers, for instance, than a vicarious experience watching a movie.  Watching a movie is maybe 25% fun ( if that ).  I'd rather explore a towns, places, restaurants, seek out nature.  These feed my soul! "

" Oh... well, I can see your point of view.  O.K. What's important here is helping YOU find what you need! "


In conclusion, dear friends, I recognize I am a meanderer, an intentional meanderer.  A purposeful meanderer.  So was my husband.  In my little Type A corner of the world, Meanderers are people without purpose! 

 !! Poppy cock !!
    Meandering is where  
   discoveries happen!   
(I think I've found my calling)
  Good morning, friends   
  May your day be FULL of delightful meandering  


  1. Meandering here is NOT something without purpose--it is an intentional "getting away from noise and crap" and could entail a stroll (not a walk or hike) in the woods or where ever nature is. I meander a lot and it is most from my recliner--especially in the winter. I think meandering is the epitome of a contented life.

    1. It's so good to hear your take on it. Meandering requires the luxury of time and no stress. Yes! Its the epitome of contentment. The dictionary defines it as a winding course, not straight and direct. The dictionary goes on to say - wandering aimlessly. Hello?! Even a meandering river doesn't wander aimlessly!

  2. Meandering is not a bad thing. My husband and I were great at meandering when we were on vacation. Loved the mountains, the woods, the Great Lakes and things you can't take the time for during your work week. Does you friendship coach think you need to find friends who share core values or can you be friends with someone who brings different ideas into your relationship? I am reminded about what the other Jean (the blogger) says about having different friends for different parts of her life.

    1. Ah, another meandering couple. I'm sorry we didn't meet you! Did you follow the dotted scenic highways on the AAA maps, too? We'd head straight for them.

      My Friendship Coach considers emotional vulnerability the gateway to friendship. She talks about creating a kind and caring space, with the intent to learn. To be genuinely interested in stepping out of your own world into theirs, not just having them step into yours.

      I believe that's in line with what Jean says. I'd find it easier to open up to people who share my core values; otherwise I might not share my heart and be vulnerable.