It isn't just a caffeine high. My eyes popped open at 7:50, way later than usual. My cat was there for his love fest and I obliged, stroking his ears, his head, his hind quarters. Then it was up out of bed on this sunny cold day. Free of scheduled plans, free of overwhelming chores, free of feeling I'm not enough.
This gal is feeling happy!
Yes, yesterday I met with my Friendship Counselor. Good meeting. We've gotten down to core issues by this time. We've discovered the truth. I'm really a long lost princess of Scottish lineage. Someone who all these years has merely mistaken herself for a puddle board. Yes, a puddle board. You know those coats footmen would throw over puddles so fine ladies could press their fine footwear into clean folds instead of walking through a puddle of horse muck? Well, clever gal that I am, I improved upon being a coat people walk over. Instead became a fine stiff puddle board. I don't break. I hardly freak. I hardly moan at all as finer people than I walk over me to their drier, sunnier side. Now I have seen up plenty of skirts and pants. I know my share of dirty secrets. Can I tell you how guilty I've felt telling of dirty secrets here this past year? Good, stiff puddle boards do no such thing.
But letting it all out has worked. You see, I have discovered I am a long lost princess, not a puddle board. A princess among of a world of princesses and princes. No footmen or women, no puddle coats, no puddle boards really exist. No clean footwear exists. And underwear gets dirty the minute we put it on. We routinely fall into puddles. 'Course my conversation with my Friendship Coach didn't exactly use these metaphors, but some conversations are better left private.
I am one happy person today. I confess. This took over 15 minutes to write.
Good morning
May your spirits be bright this lovely day
I never knew those coats thrown over puddles were called puddle boards. Learn something new every day. I'm glad you are no longer one.
ReplyDeleteYou probably won't find any historic reference to puddle boards LOL The phrase just popped into my mind this morning.
ReplyDeleteOkay--now tell ME where I can find a Friendship Coach or Life Coach, or any kind of coach that is going to make me feel worthwhile and deserving.
ReplyDeletePssst, don't tell anyone, but she's a cognitive behavioral therapist. There are likely some in your area. One of the things this type of therapy does is expose mistaken beliefs in such a way that one can see how false they are. From there, a truth becomes obvious. Like, in my instance, I learned I was worth very little from my parent's behavior toward me. I was valuable to them only when I was obedient, which meant either doing chores or staying out of their hair. Only contribution I could make, only way I could love them, was to sooth my upset mom, so she'd agree to stay another day and take care of us, even though she hated being stuck with my dad and we kids. The lightbulb went off in my head when I realized her opinion of us and her behavior toward us was no reflection of our worth as precious human beings. All these years I'd given my mom and dad credit for being perceptive and truthful. Instead they were woefully blind to their kids' intrinsic worth and missed a great chance to love us and enjoy the thrill of having us love them back. So the truth is.... we all are worthwhile and deserving : -)
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