Hang out here for long with me and you'll see what emerges has little to do with where I've been, who I've seen, what news I've learned of, what I've purchased, what I've done to make someone else's world bright.
Perhaps who you see is someone arising from dark, numb, cold, and occasionally despairing self imprisonment. Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!
I am blissfully happy for the third day in a row. In the middle of the night I had a wrestling match with my familiar old monkey of 'not good enough', who usually does a very good job depriving me of my peace of mind. This time I tried a new approach to defeating my pest. I agreed with him (or her?) that I actually prefer joining his little tirade, to actually feeling my own feelings and tending to them myself. Especially if they're painful feelings.
I mean, now that I recognize it's a lie that I'm not worthwhile, everything's changed. I am quite worthwhile, and it's really my obligation and joy to care about me and my feelings. For as long as I can remember, I have farmed out the task of caring about me and my feelings to other people. Well, nobody's making my wellbeing their first order of business now. This could be my golden opportunity to grow. What am I to do about my current woeful undersupply of consideration?
Hear this, monkey! I'm taking 100% responsibility for caring about my feelings, whatever they are. I am keeping tender loving company with me 100% of the time. Well, as often as I remember to.
That monkey must have gotten tired of my musings, because I slipped back to sleep.
Surely 15 minutes are up. I forgot to set the timer!
Wishing you your heart's desire today