Friday, August 24, 2012

Why let go?

   My list of  reasons to let go.

  • Our late husbands' love is encoded in our DNA and can never to be lost
  • Fulfillment is ours to access inside, not for someone to give us or take away
  • God's larger love story for us is being written
  • We can mature in ways we didn't have to when our late husbands offered us shelter
  • We inhabit our own psyches fully, now that he's not around to inhabit them
  • Living without his second opinion is fine because our own and God's is ample
  • The fear "But I'm alone" can't stop us from traveling, or stepping out to have a good time
  • We have more sex with the person who gets all our hot spots, every time - us!
  • We blow our own minds when we realize how powerful we've become on our own
  • We blow other wives' minds when they learn all we've been doing

The past isn't firm ground.  It has vanished.  I feel shaky.  The present is shifting under my feet constantly, yet I trust there's solid rock underneath.  This rock is God and the 'me' beneath all my shifting identities.  'Wife' is gone.  My husband's eyes don't mirror mine anymore.  'Widow' is a but a passage, and cold comfort.  

God remains.  The sky remains.  The water, the earth and all their inhabitants remain.  And their eyes mirror my intention and deepest self.  What message am I sending out?  Love?  Gratitude? Anticipation?  I need to be held accountable.

What benefits have you found in letting go of your late husband and the life you once had?

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