Sunday, August 19, 2012
Every moment of every day I can live without shame and pain from being alone. I just had an exquisite lobster meal on a restaurant's deck, overlooking the international ferry that transports travellers to/from Canada. Earlier today I feared a rainy mood on a rainy day. But morning yielded to a sunny day and magnificent meal.
That's my lesson for this day.
If I live expectantly, willingly, and gratefully, abandoning my regret and embarrassment at my aloneness in a world of couples, families and groups, great joy and innocent delight emerges. I share that freely, with waitresses, with other diners, and it is returned in kind.
It's not the families and groups I miss being part of. It's the best male friend, united in body, soul and mind that I miss. Not my husband. It's the unknown lover who is at this moment traveling, active yet lonely, lover and friend of the earth and sky, and ready to reach out. In his absence I have my own dear friendship. Today is so welcome, so loved. I draw nourishment from the sky and the sea, in this quiet place where land changes name from United States to Canada, if one but takes a ferry with a wish for more.