Diets and Identity Crises

I'm sipping my favorite smoothie from this 21-day EatFatGetThin challenge:  Dr. Hyman's Green Breakfast smoothie.  (Recipe at the end of this post.)  The button on my jeans is unbuttoned as I sit here, which tells you something about how thin I'm getting.

A lot of folks on this challenge are complaining noticing little weight loss.  Granted, Dr. Mark Hyman doesn't promise weight loss, but thin is in the title.  Because I lost only 3 pounds, then gained one back, I decided to measure my waist, hips and thighs this morning.   In 17 days: Waist -1" smaller.  Hips - no change.  Thighs - 1 1/2" smaller.  Truth be told, I am wearing my smallest jeans.  But still, what's with this muffin top?  Another 30, 60, 90 days to take care of that?  I won't bore you with the list of no-no's I'm enduring.   I'm trying to forget they exist, but I did list them last post.

There's no denying that some of the recipes on this plan are delicious.  Most, actually.  I've prepared dozens.  However, I want it known that I do not believe a single word written in EatFatGetThin about prep time.  5 minutes prep for a 10 ingredient smoothie?  So, I am adjusting.  Multiply prep time by 6.  Chill out.  I have finally adjusted to the fact that meals are 60% prep time, 15% eating, and 25% clean-up. 

My fridge is having an identity crisis.  Mexican take-out and pizza boxes and cartons of milk once filled it.   Now frilly green things are spilling out.  And my poor kitchen!  A food processor sits where my coffee machine used to be.  A cutting board sits where my cat's bowls and food used to be.   A blender sits where my stereo speaker used to be.  Two new bottle brushes sit next to the sink.  They clean the bottles I store my homemade nut milk in.   Nut milk.  Easy!  Soak nuts overnight, blend with plain water, drink within four days.  DIY coconut milk:  Dig pulp out (thought I was going to say out of a coconut?), blend with plain water, keep several days.   If you actually want taste in your milk, pour in unsweetened vanilla and pretend.  Oh, dear. Morning coffee just isn't the same.  Last week I snuck into Starbucks and treated myself to a latte with coconut milk.  My God, the coconut milk Starbucks uses is like drinking pure cotton candy.  I tried valiantly, but I could not choke my $4.75 latte down.  On Easter, I treated myself to a glass of red wine.  Or tried to.  Pure syrup.  Two sips and I was through.  Add taste bud crisis to the list.

The only appreciative participant in all this is my body.  It feels like it's just rolled off the assembly line.  It feels like it is over its own very long identity crisis.  Crap.  I have tons of zip.  I exercise at least an hour a day and don't ache a bit afterwards.  I've even met my indoor cycling goal:  5 minutes cycling standing up x 3 for a total of 15 minutes per workout session.   Maybe...Next week, weather permitting, this babe is going out for the local club's 28 mile bike ride down to Long Island Sound and back.

Weird.  Weird.  Weird.  Happy and clear headed is my new normal.  Even around family.  You know, if you've been following me at all, that I can take my family only in very small doses.  I visited my family at Easter and felt the family love.  Good Lord.  They hadn't changed.  I had.  Between this PTSD recovery and this diet,  a new leaf has flipped over.  Will the real GowitheFlow please stand up?

Memo to body: I'm sneaking off my diet on Day 19 for my birthday.  What better time to load up on syrup and cotton candy?

Seriously, would you stay on this diet? 

Green Breakfast Smoothie   5 minutes prep time

1 lemon, quartered (washed and unpeeled)  No way am I going to eat a lemon with its rind and seeds, so peeling takes 5 minutes.
1 whole avocado, peeled and pitted
2 stalks celery
2 cups spinach
1/2 bunch parsley
1/2 bunch cilantro  I remove stems
1 organic cucumber (washed and unpeeled)  I don't buy organic cukes, so I peel.
1 teaspoon organic extra virgin olive oil
pinch of sea salt
filtered water (as needed for desired consistency)

Blend until smooth.  Nutritional analysis: calories 420, fat 30 grams, saturated fat 5 g, cholesterol - mg, fiber 23 g, protein 12 g, carbohydrate 36 g, sodium 180 mg.

Sip smoothie like fine wine.