Sunday, January 5, 2014

How slippery is your slope to a fresh start?

Today my slope feels as slippery as the black ice in my driveway.  Yes, I have a grand vision of my fresh start.  See below.  I'm convinced we make a fresh start every day.  With enough fresh starts, we start to realize widowhood's toughest moments are behind us.  You know the waypoints.  Overwhelm... Grief and Longing for the past...  Survival of the Unexpected...  Trial and Error...  Anybody here doing Trial and Success?   I want Trial and Success.

Remember that Existential Angst from our teens and twenties, when we had to set up our life?  Thank God, I'm relieved to say I'm doing the Existential search without the Angst.

I want simplicity itself.  The minimalist lifestyle.  I'm searching for 'just me here'.   These days, I've next to no interest in ramping up my public, social self.  Maybe it's the turn of the year, the cold, the snow and ice, that fosters introspection.  Of course, I've demonstrated that I'm adept at introspection during all seasons.   My waypoint, my mission right now, is allowing my essential self, the one with all the mischief and zest, to have a fresh start.  I'm finding that as she comes out to play, my social self is warming up a bit. If you knew me, you'd know that every bit helps.

When I get to the summit of this slope, when I get to my FRESSTAR  I will feel immense, comfortable, inspired, and I will revel .  I will be in my element.

I pledge to get to my summit this year

Will my Fresh Start 
  1. Make up for all the pain and confusion I've experienced?
  2. Announce itself in big letters?
    Ah HA ! 
So far, my Fresh Start has begun in my heart with a whisper.  A hint.  A dream.  A curiosity.  A smile.  A welcome.   A dare.  A wonder. 

Thank you for reading.  Just having written this post, my slope feels less slippery.  I know my next step.  I'm off to exercise this shoulder I had surgery on nearly six months ago.  I have only two physical therapy appointments left, so it's all on me now.  I will consider it a success when I can lift a gallon of milk into my refrigerator.  In the meantime I'm proud I cleared my driveway off using my snow blower. Much easier on a shoulder than shoveling. 

I have a sign next to my treadmill.

  Be the one you admire    


  1. What a bummer to have such a long recuperation with your shoulder! We all tend to take our health for granted until something goes wrong.

    Take a little salt and throw it on the metaphoric slippery slope and remember that spring is coming.

  2. ...For deep within each one of us
    lives an eternal Spring.
    by Wordworx, 2008

    Soon to be posted ;-)