Oh, goodness. A Serious Post on the Heels of Vacation?

A few days into my vacation in Downeast Maine, I knew I wasn't going to do everything I wanted to.  Better than growing my leg muscles, or finishing the books I brought, I decided the best use of my time was exercising my perspective to make IT - my perspective - larger.

Have you ever heard of this acronym?  M.I.R.R.O.R.
It comes from a book I'm listening to for my book group, called

The Brain's Way of Healing:  Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity

by Norman Doidge, M.D. 

If you want to know what I did on my vacation, besides revere and revel in the scenery, this acronym M.I.R.R.O.R. nails it.  M.I.R.R.O.R. is a change agent for the brain.

• Motivation
• Intention
• Relentlessness
• Reliability
• Opportunity
• Restoration

Every time we successfully erase a habit, or tackle a thorny issue head on, or learn a new language, we're creating new brain circuits and eclipsing others.  This method takes this a step further with the final 'R':  Restoration.  I'm only 20% into this book, but Dr. Doidge has told of two diseases - chronic pain and Parkinson's Disease - whose normally intractable symptoms have yielded to the patient's own mental effort.  It takes very particular efforts.  He describes specifically how, yet it's not a 'one size fits all' cure. My understanding thus far, is that pointed mental exercise can replace many or most patients' impairments with beneficial function.  It calls for knowledge, time and effort, not money, and can substantially lessen reliance on medication. 

M.I.R.R.O.R. operates on the notion  of 'Competitive Plasticity', meaning that the circuits we use in our brain crowd out the pathways we don't.   Only so much room in our brains, evidently.  New habits can replace old ones, we've just got to go at it patiently.   And relentlessly.   The first impairment described: chronic (not acute) pain. The brain learns to actually crowd out the pain signals and eventually the brain relents, making pain-free signals second nature.  Though the original physical cause remains, referred pain 'vanishes'.  Some people can get completely off meds.   The second: Parkinson's Disease.   Using conscious deliberate walking and movement that utilizes another part of the brain, the 'second-nature' motor circuits hobbled by Parkinson's Disease are overridden.  But only when conscious effort is employed; the new movement never becomes second nature.   Plus, only some, not all of Parkinson's symptoms can be influenced thusly. 

It's hard.  The trick is accomplishing this herculean brain shift while you're in that brain fog that pain and illness heap on everyone.  

Hah!  Brain fog sound familiar?  I can walk into another room and forget the reason I came in.

M.I.R.R.O.R. is exactly  the method I've been using to shift my ingrained beliefs.  Well, not the only one.   But during this vacation, I altered my perception about a core value: 'JUST DO IT!  Whether you feel like it or not!'   I went from believing that overriding feelings to 'just do it'  was useful, to believing it's no such thing, in social situations, anyway.  In fact, it's more than useless.  It's a brain malfunction.  My brain malfunction to fix.   Although I didn't know to call it the M.I.R.R.O.R. technique until I started reading this book afterwards, that's exactly the technique I used. 

I experimented on a few social occasions.  When I concentrated on putting my feelings first  -  NO anxiety.   It took complete concentration, staying in touch with my feelings.  When I succeeded, my care for others started flowing. 

The difference between using my 'default' impulse and my new 'forced' impulse was stark.  My default made anxiety surface.  Putting my feelings first made my anxiety go away.

What the???  Is my anxiety is telling me I'm off-course with this 'Ignore your feelings and DO IT' ?  I thought all this time that approach was the very definition of social courage.  It's what I was taught...

("Think about it, Flow.  Everyone in your family was either miserable or making you miserable.  So your inherited value makes you miserable, too.  They were wrong!  Instead, use focused sensitivity to tune in to your feelings.  You especially need them in social situations!" )

(I never learned this from anybody!)

("Wail all you want.  You're learning it now and I'm proud of you.")

My trauma counselor asked the other day, when I was exalting in my Maine breakthrough:   "Wonderful!  Yes!  You get it!"

"But I'm still bracing for impact (without this method)..."

"Is there a part of you now that isn't bracing?  Even ONE molecule?"

"ONE molecule. Yes."  I announced.  "An elementary molecule."

"Where is that molecule?"

"In my brain stem.  Instead of being captive to a fight-flight-freeze reaction, ONE molecule is staying here, feeling safe."  ( Hah!  PTSD.  You are toast!)

Doesn't it feel sometimes like we're acting on a wisp of hope and strength?  Well,  ONE safe molecule can open a world of options.

Later..."I feel like a heretic putting my feelings first" I wailed to my friend.

Her response?  It's not only you, who has difficulty putting their own happiness first.  For generations, women have been taught to put others' feelings and happiness above their own.  And men, too!  Our particular western culture has valued rational intellect over irrational feelings for what...centuries?  It's hard to be true to your feelings!

Oh.

In this afternoon of my life; sensitivity is IN!