Flavor of the Week: Frolicking

Sometimes you meet someone who changes everything in an instant. 

Sometimes change dawns slowly, then pop!  First a red sliver.  Then a circle pops out blaring its brightness.  Inevitably its shadows come into play. 

I saw some magnificent sunrises on Kauai. 
I saw so many it's hard to pick one as the best.

There is no such thing as best.
Wherever the sun rises is magnificent.

I see now I was on a spiritual pilgrimage in Kauai.  There to lighten my outlook and support joy.  I got halfway there my first trip in April.

This time I got all the way there.  I know it might not seem that way given my last post, but the sun has to cast shadows.  Look how teeny that shadow is in my picture above.

So, what happened on this pilgrimage, this retreat called "Deep Within"? Well, here's one of the events I participated in.  A pyramid ceremony.  'Ceremony' isn't the right word, but I don't haven't a better one. 

If you can, toss skepticism aside.  And believe that God, Spirit, Divine Energy, Air, whatever you call it, wants to reach you with a magnificent message tailored just for you.  To do so, 'Air' starts you off with a silent retreat camping on the beach for three nights.  Then takes you high into Her mountains, 4000 feet above the sea, for another experience of Her energy.  There, next to cabins used by the locals hunting wild Boar, a spiritual man sets up a four sided copper pyramid.  A Lemurian crystal dangles from the pyramid's apex.  In this energetic portal, in Divine Message Central, messages come.

Realize this explanation and wording is mine, not his.   He's far more delightful and eloquent. You see him inside it in this photo.

Once sitting inside, you silence your mind's chatter and open your heart to.... a message, while he blows tones with a didgeridoo.

Yes!   The message!  It pops into mind, settles in the heart, and fills the body with ease.  What would your message be?   My message was oh so brief.

"Laugh"

 

Frolics and Fumbles in Kauai

WooHoo!  Back from my second trip to Kauai this year.  Pardon the title.  I'm really going to write about Fumbles today and not frolics.  Frolicking comes next post!

To pick up where I left off in May, my summer and fall have been yummy - busy and wonderful.   I've been working my little patutty off in the garden, and delving deep and deeper into my psyche.  I felt this would have made boring copy, not to mention offend certain people as I went through my blaming stage.  I am still on my journey to make women friends.   Most women gravitate toward women!  WHY do I have such difficulty?   There is a perfectly good reason. I've been turning every key I have found in my inner psyche to uncover what seminal experience could have instilled such prejudice about women in me.  Most of the keys have opened vaults with insight goodies inside.  I got lucky.  A new key fell into my hands.  I turned this key on the enchanted Island of Kauai, and, oh-oh... it opened to a very real flashback. 

I felt, from no safe distance, the recoil of an animal struck, then pinned down, as someone who was supposed to protect me violated me instead.  Every cell in my body recoiled.  This wasn't about a man. Violations happen sometimes between little girls and their Dad.  This was between a little girl and a woman, or maybe little girls.  Maybe it wasn't my Mom.  It sure as heck was female.  This happened before my little brain could create meaning or memories, so how sexual could it have been? Yet, with that bodily certainty that flashbacks offer, I knew that safe feelings of protection were ripped from me.  I was violated by a woman.  Not a man.  A woman. 

"Otherwise, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?".  I promise, I'll get to cheerier subjects about my enchanting trip to Kauai and my summer.  This is my blog, so bear with me.  This flashback was my personal pivot point.  Woohoo!  My power is in the telling. 

So, what triggered my flashback?

A tribal ceremony. 

The other women and man really got into it.  Empowerment! Play! Giggles!

ARGH! Not me!  It's not because I don't like playing with mud and painting bodies.  I love that; I'm a gardener and artist.  If the man had painted me, I would have relaxed and giggled along with the rest of them. But women were touching and painting me.  I was freaking out with my flashback.  Feeling like an animal cornered and pinned, marked and painted for slaughter.  I didn't stop it, because I gently told myself "That was then, and this is now.  There is nothing to be afraid of."

The marks two women put on me, independent of each other, were the symbols you see here.

LOL. The life script gets a rewrite.  My mother, or whatever woman violated me, doesn't have the last word now, does she?