Thursday, February 23, 2017

There is a Last Time

There's gonna be a last time.

Ready or not, there will be a last snowfall.

Remember last post, when I wrote I felt a name change coming on?  Shortly after I admitted that, I admitted something bigger. 

Post Widowhood needs to scoop you all up and wish you well.  I'm saying Bye-Bye.

I've outgrown it.  I don't feel 'post' widowhood, 'post' recovery, 'post' relevant.  Yeah, it's all 'post'.  Yet it's all 'beginnings'.  History has given me wings. 

The eyes I have found here have felt more real and loving than physical eyes I once searched as I asked "Are you with me?"  With your company, my own eyes felt the answer.  You have been a new mirror for me, replacing that rusty, dusty, fusty, musty version in my head.  Your words have had enormous impact.  I don't know if this was exactly what you intended, but in real life now, I'm genuinely warm toward people I feel warmly toward, and genuinely off-putting to people I want to be off-putting to.  The congruence is absolutely relaxing.  I laugh often.  And offload my opinions in other places.

But I'm all talked out here! 

I was worried that the digital sphere would swallow evidence I existed when this blog falls silent.  So before posting this final message I assembled physical evidence, and a PDF file.  Hah!  Yesterday two full color volumes from Blog2print arrived.   Five plus years.  262 posts, pictures and comments.  Volume One, 2012, 2013 and 2014 - 206 pages of gorgeous evidence that I existed.  Volume Two, 2015, 2016 through January 24, 2017 - 340 pages of proof that I really had a lot to get off my chest.



I promise - my words will continue to pop up your blogs. 
Love you all!

21 comments:

  1. Oh, my goodness. I feel like I just found you... because I did. You leave me wanting more, but go and be happy, and if you ever change your mind, if you ever start blogging again, let us know where and when.

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    1. Bella, I am so touched! I do leave you wanting more?!? That's the nicest thing to say.

      You know when we have to reorganize our life, our priorities? :-)

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  2. Gosh, I didn't expect this! But I hope the change frees your heart and mind in ways that enrich your life.

    Tell us more about the Blog2print. Did it give you the opportunity to edit out photos or posts before the printing? Did it cost a lot? Are you going to take down this blog or let it stay up? I'm glad you took this step to preserve your growth!

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    1. Yes! This step is preserving my growth! I'm just leaving this little soapbox behind ;-)

      Blog2print was a seamless experience, though it restricted my creative freedom with fewer choices for layout and typeface. Another program with more freedom, BookWrite, (Blurb?) no longer downloads Blogger blogs as Blogger format, and even though I specified old to newest posts plus photos, it separated them, and I couldn't make heads or tails of what was downloaded. To create a simpler book from scratch I might use them, because I prefer creative freedom. For instance I would loved to have imported what you see here - the sunflowers, the heading, the column on the right, on at least one page. What I've going to do is print a few pages right off the PC, and slip these into the book.

      So convenience, a 25% off coupon, and enough choice produced an extraordinary result. $200 plus $26 for 2 day shipping. Took 10 days from order to delivery.

      I'll keep this blog up if people are reading various posts. Maybe they're benefitting somehow.

      See you in your blog, always a pleasure. I'll have more time now to read!!!

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    2. Wow, they are expensive compared to Blurb, but now that Blurb no longer uploads from your blog it's a lot of copy and paste to do a book. I've done two the old way and two their new way. The new way is very time consuming but I was able to do 187 page books for under $14.00.

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    3. What was included in your book? That's a nice price!

      The pricing for mine started at $19 for a small number of pages, with a soft cover, in the largest size. Every page thereafter cost around 45 cents. Their software program did all the cut and paste the work. Including photos likely jacked up the price. I didn't want to linger over the project, as it upset me enough pulling the plug on this blog (though it was time).

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    4. Everything is included---base price is #2.49 for trade size, color cover and one penny for each pages after. They discount for quantity but I only get two. They don't edit and you have to do your own cover design. But I get you're not wanting to linger over your project. If you start another blog after your clean break from this one, make sure to let me know. okay?

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    5. Will do. I might make a new blog more private.

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  3. OH MY!!! I will miss you as I just found you as well. But when you feel like it's time, it's time!

    Enjoy phase 2!

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    1. So nice to be missed! You, my dear, have had how many phases? I will visit you in your current phase in Oregon! You are a pleasure to know.

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  4. If you love someone you set them free and let them go. I feel like you are leaving my nest, and that makes me sad, but I have felt this coming for the last month or so. I have learned so much from you!!!!! You can't possibly know how you have helped me rid a lot of the ghosts of the past. Fly free, Little One. You are still the cutest one of the bunch!!!!! :-)

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    1. :- ) :- ) :- )

      I may just fly to your door. See you on your blog. xoxoxo

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  5. Hello from Idaho. I was using blog 2 print and hope to leave them to my sons some day. But I figure I will just leave a personal letter to them and telling them about my blog.
    Found your blog though Judy and if you have time stop in for a cup of coffee

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    1. I will, Dora. Wonderful to meet a new neighbor! Here's a way to have your cake and eat it, too. You can upload your blog to Blog2print, and buy a PDF file of it for $8.95. I did this as well, and will upload it to cloud storage, and maybe put it on a disk or external hard drive. I myself feared that Blogger could pull the plug on an inactive blog. Ouch!

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  6. Im sad to read this, but you are an incredible writer. The comment you left on my blog just made me smile ... I am going to share your insights with my therapist tomorrow .... sad to see your blog go... I hope to see you on mine connecting with me more :) I would love that .... thank you for making my day brighter today.

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  7. Karen, you just made my day brighter. Love who you are!

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  8. I navigated to you from a NY Times article: "after the caregiving ends". Your excerpt was stirring; sorry to find you after your exit (hmm, me and my timing!).

    Blessings in your new beginnings.
    Teachers Daughter

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  9. Gosh, I didn't expect this! But I hope the change frees your heart and mind in ways that enrich your life.


    เย็ดสาว

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  10. I couldn't refrain from commenting. Very well written!

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