Saturday, September 24, 2016

Impulse Control - Stay? Go? Hide?

Referring back to Christopher Reeve's comment above - I wouldn't have gone into the ocean unless I lost my playmate in the shallow end of the pool.  But this week, though the ocean remains compelling, keeping this Blog going was not.  The reader count of last week's post only inched to 25, f i n a l l y, so Blog Oblivion appealed.  I'm lonely.  I have had trouble keeping up with  all my friend's blog posts recently.   Sorry!

Right now, I'm in one book group, another online course about 'Deeper Dating', and finally addressing the weeds in my yard.  This week I prepared the area for a 14' tall sculpture to be installed.  The sculptor delivered it last Wednesday.  Beautiful!  I meant to post about it - took lots of pictures - but I started writing today, and this came out instead.

Vote!  You want posts about 'Deeper Dating'? Pictures of the sculpture? What I write here?

I'm still reading  The Brain's Way of Healing , and starting to read Eckhart Tolle's 'A New Earth' for next month's book group meeting.  I'm amazed how the brain never stops responding to the stimulation we give it.  How much the brain can grow new capabilities, like sight for eyes once blind, like grasping new spiritual ideas or emotional outlooks.  Clearly, I'm evidence of how much one brain can grow to overcome emotionally traumatic injuries.   You're evidence too, of amazing growth.  How many of you, widows or divorcees or retirees or whatever, could easily step back into your old life, given who you have grown into?  Sometimes I wonder if my late husband could recognize all I've become if he popped back in.

Neuroplasticity in the brain and in our spirit helps me realize that no experience can finish us off.  Yes, our bodies will finish us off, but we have amazing say in how it all shapes out in the meantime.  As a kid, I used to hear "Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out!".  But this past year and a half, I'm coming around to believing it's required that my brain fall out, if it means coming unstuck from beliefs and identities that bind me.  The world opens up. 

Hah!  I'm becoming so open-minded, my heart's showing!

Still, I felt increasingly disheartened this week, given how long it takes to write one post, that I talked it over with my friend. 

"I write about what excites me! I used to get more hits!  Do I belong here? "

Maybe you need to uproot your blog, out of 'Widowhood' category?

"No"  I said.  Widowhood was my portal.  IS my portal.  This is still about one woman getting her wheels rolling after the emotional hub of her life dies and she's in the ditch.  Bottom line: Widowhood is merely the current wrapping for the precious gift all of us are inside - flawless 'love' beings working out the conundrums of ordinary life.

"So write! "

....So my "Go and Hide' impulse lost out to 'Stay'.


Speaking of conundrums and impulse control, are you excited about watching the first debate two days from now?  Hah!  My eyes will be glued.  I wonder...Who will lose impulse control first?  Who will out-disdain the other? 

Such a conundrum.   Do you think we'll come out of this election inspired?

I started chatting with the woman sitting next to me at the Diner this morning.  "Who are you going to vote for?"  I asked.

"Hilary, of course!" 

This led to an animated discussion, during which I said "Me too.  I'm afraid to put my Hilary bumper sticker on my car, though.  Afraid some volatile Trump supporter will take her or his key and scratch their opinion of my preference down the length of my car."

We agreed we'd seen few, if any Hilary OR Trump stickers or lawn signs.   Are you as intimidated as me?  My decision's been made, but I'm not advertising it.

I'm curious.  Are there many political bumper stickers or lawn signs where you live?  Have you decided who you are going to vote for?  I'd love to know!


  1. Not any yard signs around here or bumper stickers. I think Facebook is the new "political voice" place.

    I'm glad you decided to keep blogging. I don't think you have to "uproot from the widowhood category." None of us do. But you can get yourself cross-indexed in blog catalogs if you want to expand your readership in say categories like self discovery, building self esteem or whatever it is you decide your blog's focus should be---3 to 5 recurring topics that you see in your unique way, that will bring people back. You could add art commentary, book reviews, what your days are like for when you don't want to write about heavier topics. We know a lot about what goes on inside your mind but very little about what your days are like, how does your newly found self-esteem translate to help in your every day relationships. I'm just throwing out ideas as they come. Feel free to discount anything that doesn't seem right for you to write about. I also think it takes writing at least once a week to build up and hold a following.

  2. Facebook...right now my page and feeds are blissfully free of political discourse and political ads. I'd rather NOT know who my FB friends support. It may prove divisive!

    These are great ideas - all of them, Jean. All my life I've been a 'behind the scenes' gal, aka wallflower. aka loner. EEK Time to come out more. I could go out of my comfort zone to share my real life!

    I just saw a flash at the end of my driveway; all is now dark and quiet. I can write for a brief spell with my back-up battery. No cell service here, though. I keep my old fashioned land line for just such emergencies. They're on their way. I'm compulsive about going out to breakfast, you know, so next I will try to raise my double wide wooden garage door to free my car. Cheers!

  3. I agree with you about not wanting to know who your FB friends and family support. I have lost respect for several people this election because of their FB postings.

    I keep my landline, too, for the same reason. Good luck with that garage door.

  4. Got the garage door up! Power came back on. A poor squirrel got fried.

  5. Actually, I think you’ve yeoman’s work of untethering the widowhood vessel and heading out to open waters! After all, the Old English origin of widow apparently was “empty”, and it seems to me that you have all of your sails back up and filled with the wind! As far as the political scene, I’ve broken rank and headed into the depths myself. I’ve been curious about Gary Johnson and have been trying to learn. This week I downloaded a digital edition of his book “Seven Principles of Good Government” (actually free with Kindle Unlimited). So, this guy is disciplined, respectful, inclusive, compassionate, courageous, open…should I go on? Then…tonight I caught a segment on 60 Minutes that featured Jordan’s king and his winning strategy against ISIS. Guess what? It sounds a whole lot like what Johnson wrote in his book. It seems like a vote for Johnson is what more and more people are envisioning as the “smart” choice. My “deep water message” is that maybe we ought to take a serious look at this Johnson/Weld option before we throw our vote overboard. Any other thoughts?

  6. Hello, Mrs. Johnson! I enjoy having you here, daring and speaking your mind. Keep coming, and speaking up. Astute observation connecting Jordan's king and Johnson's ideas. I don't know much about his ideas I was watching TV as he drew a blank when asked about Aleppo a couple weeks ago, so I mistakenly discounted his intellect. Thank you for drawing my attention to his book!

    I certainly want to be inspired by my country's leader, yet find none capture my heart. So, given that, I want political, financial and intellectual savvy in the governmental sector, fueled by compassion for the voiceless or the misunderstood - children, women, the disabled, minorities - together with raw, alpha power. Takes that to get the job done. I prioritize in this way: political savvy, compassion, governing experience, intellectual heft and power. And come out with Hilary.

    I just affixed my Hilary 2016 bumper sticker. I feel like adding another bumper sticker above it, saying "She ain't perfect and I ain't either. Are you?"

    I painfully recall when Nader cost Al Gore the election in 2000. I don't want Trump in the oval office!!

  7. Family tradition: "No lawn signs or bumper stickers for political parties The voting booth is "secret"for a reason. No one needs to know your political leanings." Times have changed, but back in the day, politics wasn't discussed around the supper table and, I knew my best friend for 68 years and never knew what party she voted for. I prefer it to be that way today. Who am I voting for? Neither one. I will leave the top of the ballot empty, as I did in 1964--Johnson/Goldwater, and vote my Party the rest of the way down the ballot.

  8. I totally get leaving the top of the ballot empty. I'm glad you're voting your party down-ticket. I'm registered as a Republican, though I pick form both parties. Actually supported John McCain in 08, I was so worried Hilary would be the nominee.

    This is the first time I've ever advertised my preference. Trump has put a scare into me, and there's a rebellious part of me to stand up to bullies!

  9. So happy to read your blog. Mine is simply stream of consciousness. Sometimes about being a widow but now more looking to the future or laughing at the present and the past. I write for me but I notice a big surge if the title is sad or sexy. Headlines sell!

    Keep it up. We will all be reading ... and weekly will get those numbers up if that is important. Jean has it right with twice a week, I think!

  10. Hi, AW! For some reason 'Impulse Control' was a VERY popular title. Impulse control - definitely my issue. Never did like doing anything regularly, except heading out for breakfast every day. I admire Jean's discipline!