Friday, October 14, 2016

The Gifts of the Circle of Friends



Hi guys.  Feeling Velveteen Rabbitey here.   The Gift Circle I described last post - where friends reveal what they treasure about each other - is really rubbing the fur off my belly. Oooh!

Here's what my closest friend wrote.  Her answer deserves a whole post. 

"When we first met, you struck me as quiet, easily overlooked, needing [your husband] to support you and perhaps be your compass. You were an artist and maybe a bit “arty” – almost a definition rather than a person.  Over the years I got to know more about you and to like you more and more.  But again, I would describe you by what you did, not who you were.  You were strong and adventuresome – cycling in Europe, taking mosaic classes in Mexico (Mexico?!), spending time in France, camping alone in ME., travelling to the Easter Islands, scattering ashes in Hawaii. And trying to find a soul mate, only to be disappointed time and again.  You were a seeker, but I didn’t know what it was that you sought.

Now I know – you were seeking Flo and you are finding her.  I have been blessed to accompany you on part of this journey and I have seen a scared little rabbit ( 12 years ago) turn into a  beautiful, compassionate, caring friend. The rabbit is coming out of her hole, trusting people more, opening her eyes and looking deeply into mine, daring to be present to others, instead of needing to protect herself at all costs.  You’ve become a person, not a definition – unfinished, as we all are – but someone who is able to feel real feelings and not hide from them, who is coming to love and accept the real Flo and slowly to trust her own truth, even if its scary or different.  You are grounded, Flo, rooted like the plants in your garden. 

 ...I see your core qualities as strength, courage (alone in Maine with the bears!), trustworthiness (I know you’d never betray a secret); faithfulness (nor betray me), a true sense of spirituality and transcendence, which informs your life. And an enormous amount of love, which you’re just discovering and starting to trust.  I think the best way to describe you now is to say that you’re real.  When we talk, we truly “share” and that happens rarely in our world.  That’s why I’m so grateful for your friendship. (Is that a core quality?  If not it should be.  True friendship is a real gift because it implies acceptance.)  Another core gift of yours – you are non-judgmental. There is so much love in you and I’ve seen you begin to open yourself to that, to allow yourself to  feel compassion, trusting you won’t be hurt. When you smile, I feel the love as I never did before and it’s life giving.  Thank you for being my friend. "

Isn't this amazing?  I am easier to read than I thought! 

And being braver and realer....Just this week, I fessed up to a man who wants to be my friend, that with me, comes the elephant in my room - she's snorty, messy, and impolitic.  She comes out with me.  He laughed.  How real you are!  Of course I want to be your friend.

I'd like to bring out Ms. Snorty, Messy, Impolitic.  Do you want to meet her?  You wanna love the fur off of her, too?

Have a lovely weekend, everyone.   The fall colors are striking here in New England.  Tomorrow I'm heading to western Massachusetts to visit my father and my brother, who just had major surgery.  Can't wait to give them hugs!

8 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing what your friend wrote! She gave your blog readers a wonderful window into you. It says volumes about your friendship as well as about how you've grown over the years. And, yes, I for one want to meet your Ms. Snorty, Messy, Impolitic. And also spill the beans on this guy who is interested in you.

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    1. I am really blessed with my friendship with her. She knows Ms. Snorty, Messy, Impolitic - I guess that's where most of our laughs come from.

      No titillating beans to spill on this man. He's a 'family' friend from way back, quite happily married. Safe, safe, safe. lol

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  2. Sorry about Brother having to go through surgery--he seems like such a great man, I hate for him to feel hurty. This friend of yours has the power of words. Does she also have a blog? Probably not. She doesn't sound like she would be one who had to publicly write down all her warts. LOL My, my--you sure have changed so much in this last year--I love it! I hope the new friendship is nice. Snorty and messy I understand. What does impolitic mean? Sounds like something I am. :-)

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    1. Impolitic basically means writing the 'unwise to go there' kind of stuff, that could come back to haunt you. Sound like you? I take SUCH great pains to edit the impolitic stuff out and play nice in print. I am so afraid of having my words used against me. 'Course I'm not famous enough to have my words smeared on TV screens, and I'm not looking to be hired, but I could be 'fired'. Oh, dear, oh dear.

      My friend does have the power of words. Great sincerity! Ah, but she has no need for a soapbox like I do, so no blog.

      I can't wait to get the lowdown on bro's surgery. A three hour surgery turned into six!

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  3. Fingers crossed here all will turn out well for your brother as he recovers.

    Impolitic...interesting word that I didn't understand either so I was glad Judy asked. I guess I do sort of edit the impolitic stuff out of my blog, because I do try hard not to use names or places, especially if I'm going to say something critical.

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    1. I am amazed how well my brother's doing. He's up and about. Instead of cutting, the surgeon used a laparoscopic technique for this tricky area - the hip joint area - to roto-rooter 3" of a completely blocked artery. Can't put a stent in there; it's way too stiff to flex when the leg bends. So, it looks like his recovery will be as quick as recovery from hernia surgery.

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  4. Flo, you are so lucky to have a friend who sees the true you and who lets you know in such a beautiful piece of writing. I would treasure that kind of relationship, which depends on both of you being so open and vulnerable.

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  5. WOW! I'm not sure anyone would know me that well. Good for you! Print out that description and tape it where you can see it every day. Congrats.

    How's the patient doing now?

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