Saturday, July 23, 2016


Background Design

1.     a mode of behavior or way of thought peculiar to an individual.

"one of his little idiosyncrasies was always preferring to be in the car first"

                  2.     a distinctive or peculiar feature or   characteristic of a place or thing.

This week, as I considered sharing what I experienced, I thought "Not about that" .   It's too peculiar.  Too weird!

Well...It starts with this...
I believe in the presence of energy fields.

Fifteen months ago, before I went to Hawaii seeking a new start, 'energy fields' were in the Woo Woo category. 

Before I tell  you what happened, though, I want to share something I read in today's New York Times Op-Ed section (therefore, not weird, right?).  It refers to American Sign Language.

"In more recent years, a new sign has been created: 
the fingers of the hand,
facing downward over the heart like a closed flower,
then rotating upward with opening petals
until the fingers are then placed back over the heart
with the "flower" facing in the right direction."

This ties in with my experience, you'll see.  This new flower symbol, above, is sign language for 'transgender'.  Hmm! Yet, this morning, as I physically practiced this movement over my own heart, I felt its broader meaning for me: Transformation. And this broader definition ties in beautifully with  my 'energy field' experience a few days ago.

It all started with a meditation from an Audible book entitled Energetic Boundaries, by Cyndi Dale.  Energy, our own or others', is something we pick up on, in a 'sixth sense' kind of way, and Cyndi speaks about four energetic fields. 
  1. our physical energetic field from our skin's boundary inward
  2. our emotional energetic field, extending outside our body
  3. our relational energetic field, extending beyond that
  4. our spiritual energetic field beyond this
I'd like to tell you about how Cyndi Dale's meditation from this book, shifted my own story, from one tethered to historical circumstances, to one tethered to my greater spirit's.

My historical circumstances began like yours did, in a womb.  Mine diverges a bit, for I lived in a womb void of a mother's love connection.  A mother's love energy usually swirls round her fetus and sets her fetus's nervous system, in its deepest rhythms, with her own nervous system's love.  So, I've always experienced myself as lacking love and therefore unworthy of it.  Except, as weird as it sounds, my understanding shifted as I meditated on my energy fields with Cyndi.

The other day, I plugged Cyndi's Audible book and her voice.  I was walking on a beautiful nature trail, and though she advises one to lie down and close one's eyes, for this guided meditation, I figured I'd keep walking and avoid tripping.   During her energetic healing meditation I allowed myself to be drawn into almost a trancelike state.  Her voice led me through these four energy fields and backwards through time - to the moment in time  when I was a single cell, in somebody's womb.

Then she asked me to step back in time before I was even a single cell.  I was to feel what and who surrounded me, what was desired for me, before I entered a single cell.

I felt it.  I was surrounded by love, swirling round me.  I was love, its expression, its awareness. Around me I became energetically aware of spiritual beings, of my ancestors, and a great, maybe 'Source' spirit.  They supported me in love.  I supported me in love.  Cyndi instructed me to ask, in this place, what my true story is.  I did, and received one word in answer:  Behest.  (Likely these folks said additional things, but I grasped the key word.) 

Behest.  With that Cyndi brought me back to my physical surroundings, and thus ended my meditation. 

Behest:  At my behest?  At Love's behest?  There, a shift.  There, in my heart, a flower, upside down with closed petals, heard the angels? speak, hearing love, experiencing love.  And this flower turned toward love, up righting itself, opening up inside my heart.  Just like the American Sign Language's symbol for 'transgender', enacts.  O.K.  Not exactly in the gender department...

And so, I want to share what my real story is: I came at love's behest.  Before I was a single cell in my mother's womb, I was something - a soul? - who lived, maybe in some infinite spirit energy field, of love.  I chose to come here.  I may have even chosen to come in my mother's womb for very good reasons - to learn how to love.  To seek it and discover it when I looked inside my own heart. 

What's changed?  Instead of feeling unworthy, I feel myself to be beneficial.  I am intrinsically beneficial.

So that is my story of the week.  And by the way, I picked up my beloved RV the other day.  You single gals will understand this.  Needing a ride and having no wheels.  Yeah, I've heard there's Uber, and there are friends who will do a favor.  But there's also improvisation.  Hah!  So, as my repaired RV sat marooned day after day at its mechanic's 19 miles away, I remembered my regular local mechanic had seen my RV at the new mechanic's on his way in to work.  I called him with a proposal: I bicycle to his shop, only 7 miles away, and he gives me a lift to the other mechanic's on his way home.  Hah!   My darling is back in its carport.

Cleaning its mice nests out will wait until this heat wave's over.  Meanwhile, have a super day, everyone!


  1. Okay, I'm really glad we didn't meet back in my Flower Child days in the '70s. Back then I would have understood everything you wrote about above and we would have been a force to recon with. LOL I will say this: I believe the energy force (soul) comes from some place in the universe at birth (not at conception)and it is older than our physical bodies. It's our job to expand that energy force for good, and not let it go out with negativity and evil. We are all "weird" in our own ways.

    That was clever, riding your bike to the mechanics!

    1. Wow. Your thoughts about the energy force makes me happy I shared this. Back in the 70's we might have attributed mind expansion and energy force to a drug or two, but we're stone cold sober now. I've been connecting the dots in my life through a smorgasbord of approaches. What's old is new, and what's new is old. With scientific advances, some of this 'energy force' is visible and measurable, which for me, provides credibility that my belief isn't just a leap of faith.

  2. I agree with having a life force. Better than an established religion. We may even have reincarnation ... if we did a good job at this level, we get to go up a level. Ending in eternal happiness. Which to me means drinking wine and enjoying food with no weight gain!

    We are what we are and I agree with Jean that it is our job to nurture and grow this positive energy.

    1. You, too?! It IS possible this isn't our first go-round. And we come to learn lessons... I'm sure not shutting the door on any process, if it expands this loving energy force inside us toward others. Interesting the way you and Jean put it - that it is our job to grow this positive energy and not let it go out with negativity and evil. Great outlook!

    2. I hope you come back to Hawaii ... um, I mean Maui!

  3. That is all too confusing for me to understand. I've had relationship problems and emotional problems and physical all along this life. It's just life! I don't worry about any of it and remain calm and float along with the river of life. I put my trust in God and Jesus and let them handle it. So far, it works for me.

  4. Love your trust and your flow! All this weird stuff is such fun for me. I believe I may have been a detective in a former life, magnifying glass and all. And I do tend to paddle my little boat, especially when my river's sluggish. Isn't IMpatience a virtue?

    1. Go with the flow, Flo! HAH

    2. Just thinking, Judy...You're one who digs into the ancestral flow. Examine the flow, trust the flow, go with the flow.

      Brain is tired. G'night!

  5. If we truly believe we inherit an energy force at birth then we have to believe in re-incarnation...the force comes from someplace but it might not be from person to person, but rather from person to Cosmos to person. Some of us have the energy force from the rainbow, some from the rain, some from the sun, etc. We die and our energy force gets absorbed back into the universe until something or someone being born needs it.

    1. How interesting. Pondering...We inherit a part of the energy force from an energy force ancestry beyond our awareness. We're interconnected in ways beyond our knowing. We're here to pay it forward with our unique nature. Paying it forward is riding with the energy force's flow...

      How's that, Flower Child?

  6. I love how you have woven a spiritual awakening with something so simple as reclaiming your RV -- not so dissimilar actually. Thank you for this post, Flo.

  7. You're welcome, Martha! I like the parallel you draw between reclaiming my intrinsic worth and reclaiming my RV. I didn't even think about that as I wrote this. Could our unconscious have its own wisdom?!

  8. Flower Child says I agree. We're all interconnected.