Sunday, September 1, 2013

Your widow and widower story needs to be known

Your life was fractured by his, or her death.  Now you've got something left - YOU!  Your story about yourself without him or her is a story I would like to know.  Who are you now?  Who are you becoming?   Are you entertaining ideas about something you've wanted to try?  I have much in common with you.  I will certainly find your different outlook stimulating.  I've yet to read or hear anyone's story of recovery from loss that is simple.  Recovery from any loss is never 'simple'.  If we present it to someone as 'simple', are we telling the truth?

Tell only the truth.   That's what I need to see and hear.  Don't show me the game face you're wearing.   Don't feed me regurgitated advice and platitudes.  We all recognize truth, don't we?  It's in our soul, needing to come out to a warm welcome.  Who am I to turn down Life's invitation to me?

Write, talk, paint, dance, or whatever.  Let me, let whoever meets you, experience what's real in you.  Sure, 'real' is new.  It's unsteady.  It gains its footing and its strength the more we use it. 

I'm writing less and less now, since little comes up in my life that is relevant to widowhood.  My metamorphous through that identity crisis forced me to be sole gatekeeper, sole instigator, sole manager, sole lover.   I'd be lying if I said I've never been happier.  But I have my bearings.  Nowadays, if somebody asks for a label to describe myself, I answer 'retired' rather than 'widowed'.   Perhaps neither label is relevant in today's culture of couples, kids and careers, but 'retired' sure puts a smile on my face.

I'm phasing out; perhaps it's your time to phase in.  Please share a link to your blog in the comment section.  I would love to read what's happening in your life. I'm sure others would, too.


  1. I've already answered and/or explored most of the questions in my blog. So I won't leave any answers here. I just wanted to ask if you've thought about starting another blog that more closely reflects your current state of mind and 'retired' title? You're such a good writer and sharer that your many followers would miss you if you stop writing.

  2. Jean, I have started a new blog, entitled 'Kissing the Air and Filling these Shoes' but I've not yet made it public. I'll continue to comment on your blog. May I call you a good friend? I do!

  3. I'm honored to be your friend and I look forward to the public unveiling of your new blog. I'm sure you'll carry a lot of the same readers over if you leave a link here so they can find you. It's always amazed me how many followers you have and who leave comments. You inspire people to share.