Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Hope springs eternal? If it did, there would be no suicides. Hope is rare, and precious, and pops up when we least expect it.
Like this morning. Out of nowhere, my thought: I would be happy if I had a vibrant online presence. Probably came from writing my hundredth online dating profile. Well, maybe my thirtieth. I absolutely love writing them, fashioning a presence out of thin air. They are all 'me' but 'me' is a moving target as I grow. I am having fun popping up on screens and getting feedback. Some of it is weird, but when it is, it ends up in the trash bin.
After playing such a consequential role aiding my late husband, I like being loved, or appreciated, for simply who I am, not what I will do for someone. I know each one of us has something unique to contribute, and I think mine may be the 'get away from it all' variety, though I'm still trying to figure that out. I've always wanted to provide a sanctuary for people, where they can return to themselves refreshed and re energized. I do it with little interference, much color, and hopefully grace. HOPEfully, I will invite more people into my life.
I'm a single person now, reinventing my life. It's tiring, it feels terrifyingly hopeless, it's draining. But it isn't impossible. And if it isn't impossible, it's worth doing. Even if this is the last chapter of our lives, it can be our finest.